watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
