apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
