just come out here and I will go home with you...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize