Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
