I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize