My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
