would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
