Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
