New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
