What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
