I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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