You just made me feel so damn special
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize