she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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