i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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