At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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