Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
