none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
