lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
