After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
