but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
