Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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