You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
