if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
