i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
