Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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