i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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