i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
