Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
