One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
