you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
