Define "chronic" masturbator.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
