dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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