I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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