My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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