just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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