I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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