I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
