yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my phone needs a breathalizer
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
