Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
