Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
