are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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