We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
