You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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