Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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