and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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