I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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