Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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