so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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