we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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