I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
