hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
