that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
