Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize