i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
