I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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