Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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