well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
