hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
